My closest friends are the ones I can be completely myself around - no need to fake a smile or force small talk. They genuinely have my back no matter what, we laugh together often, and I can say anything without fear of judgement.

On a more general level, when I meet someone new or don’t know them as well, general positivity, don’t talk down to others, a good sense of humor, and (most importantly to me) not taking themselves too seriously.

One of the hardest things about changing any part of our behavior, especially where our brain jumps to, is it takes time and patience, so be gentle with yourself.

I recommend watching the video “This is Water” by David Foster Wallace. It’s part of a commencement speech he gave, but it’s about choosing the way we think rather than falling into our “natural default settings.” It helped me a lot on my own journey of being less judgemental.

Good luck with everything.